" I can't forgive and forget "

waterdog SG

Leave her if you can't forgive and forget.

Some people think that it's holding on that makes one strong. Sometimes it's letting go makes u strong. This is what i call unrequited love & is the equivalent to
banging your head against a wall that isn't there.

Whatever treasure & wealth u accumulate, they will disperse one day. Whatever high status we struggle for, it will be lost one day. Whoever we love,they will leave us one day.

Think back. There was a time in your life when you didn't love this person. In fact, there was a time in your life when u didn't even know this person. And u were just fine without them! Loving someone is a learned reaction, through times u have spent together, special moments, etc. Just as you "learned" to love this person, you can learn to unlove them.

The true fact of the matter is...time does heal. And why does time heal? Because over time u naturally stop thinking of them. This may be due to the fact that u won't be in physical contact with them anymore, u may meet someone new and your thoughts turn to that new person; whatever the case, this is a true statement. so, why not speed things up? believe me, thinking of them, wishing for them, & pining away for them, will not bring them back. And speaking from experience, all it will get u is a new set of wrinkles! And, if they should come crawling back in the days ahead, with their pathetic tail between their legs...u will be in a much better frame of mind to deal with them a second time around if you have put them out of your thoughts.

Men like to get & forget.
Women like to give & forgive.

Carrots SG

forgive and forget man.. there are other gals out there....

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i am a hardcore Metallic! No pain no Glory!!!!!

jliu SG

As you wish Smile

Forces F SG

Hey,
What does love mean to you?
It's based on experiences and it's love when u know it's hard to manage when u don't have it. and it's not love in the general sense, it's love from a specific person. and that's when u know u don't bother about the general idea, you bother that the love comes from the person u love in return.

So do you love her, or do you own her?

That's the main thing, you realise?

Firstly, in my honest humble opinion, the fact that she admitted to you she had a fling means two things

1) She betrayed your trust, she feels guilty about it, and she wants to earn it back, and she went about it the best and worse way. Giving you honesty. She could have easily decided quietly to herself that she'd forget it and be completely faithful to you. But she chose to tell you about it. She CHOSE it when she didn't have to. That speaks a lot about her genuine adoration and mutual respect for you.

2) It also suggests that resisting temptation isn't part of her strong implementations. Sure, she's sorry about it, but it doesn't totally get her off the hook. She could easily meet another charming guy, have a fling, and regret it later. The slate isn't exactly completely cleared.

When you think of her, recall a few things

Judas Iscariot, the man who betrayed Jesus Christ...he sold Jesus to the crucifix. He regretted it later and committed suicide. Did people really forgive him though he asked for forgiveness and was repentful?
Some do some don't

Ask yourself again, why you loved her in the first place. Never threaten to leave her because of this. If you wish to break up with her or forsake the relationship, remember the old times when complete trust existed, and ask yourslef can you honestly honestly be happy in the future knowing what she did?

My personal opinion. It's hard and virtually impossible. There will always be a lingering daunting dread involved here. But if love consumes the disdain, then worry not. She's yours to keep. If it doesn't, then worry not as well. Sell away the past, embrace a future with someone else who you can completely trust.

That's my advice anyway.

Yours,
Darren

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